Political Humor

Today, Global Warming brought an onslaught of snow and continuing cold weather to many areas around the Great Lakes, and in the Northeast United States.

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Now, I’m not a repository of quantitative data on what the weather is supposed to be like on November 21 each year, but there are a few things I recall quite clearly. I remember that I could never go snowboarding in winter unless I went to Vermont, because the temperature wouldn’t drop below 45 degrees, even in February. I would look at the weather report and scream at the television - “Just get cold enough for them to fucking MAKE snow!”

I would travel 6 hours to Vermont, and still, I would be lucky if I didn’t wind up going over a rock that put a gouge the size of Springfield Gorge in the bottom. That is, if you could even actually go. Slush has a tendency not to conducive to going fast.

I also remember, as recently as 2 years ago, going to the beach in the middle of October. People would think this is odd, but it’s only 3 weeks after the end of Summer, and it’s actually usually warmer than it is 3 weeks before Summer starts, especially the water temperature. You know, like Memorial day weekend, that people think is the official start of Summer

This year, instead of going to the beach in the middle of October, I was pulling the winter coat out of storage. The temperature hardly ever gets above 45 degrees. The Global Warming People’s Temple Cult and Inquisition won’t see any of this as relevant. They’ll just charge me again with heresy for daring to question the validity of human caused Global Warming.

I know, it makes me stupid to think that humans might not be that important, or powerful. Clearly the entire Universe revolves entirely around us, and the Earth has always been in a solid state, right up until humans ruined the perfect balance with their evil technology. The sun, ocean currents, and volcanic activity are not factors at all, of course. Except to heretics.

The fact is, we are now in a cooling cycle, and the global warming moonbats will find some way to finagle that into being caused by global warming. Mark my words. We’re in for some sort of unbelievable logic that will tell us it’s getting so cold because of all the damned global warming.

How is global warming treating you this year?

I also suggest continuing to follow the facts about global warming thread. I get some real zingers on that. Subscribe to its comments.

“Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower.”
-‘Spaceballs’

Obama-mania officially went nuclear this week, or as our former President liked to say ‘nu-cu-lar’ with the introduction of the Barack Obama Victory Plate.

Besides the fact that he peers at you through your peas and mashed potatoes while you eat, the commercial is over-the-top. A white family even smiles at the camera then Dad exclaims they ‘never thought this day would come‘.

What day is that, the one where their white guilt was purged or the one where merchandising finally went too far?

Has it gone far enough though? What else do the merchandisers have in store for us?

Obama Commemorative Ponytail

Barack doesn’t have a ponytail? No but he is the most liberal member of Congress and now he’s in charge of the entire country. His Vice-President is the third-most liberal! Nothing shows your support for a moonbat administration more then a ponytail. Comes in your choice of brunette or salt/pepper colors.

Obama Commemorative Coin

With all the talk of change and the inevitability that our taxes will shoot up, Americans will be forced to use more coins to pay for things like food and gas in the future. You will feel like the proud American you now are by using Obama coins to purchase goods and services.

Obama Commemorative Kleenex

The years of an extremely liberal Presidency will bring tears to everyone’s eyes, especially when they realize purses and wallets will become obsolete. Feel the comfort of Obama’s face wiping away the sadness.

Obama-mania has risen to such an insane level merchandisers are including images of Martin Luther King Jr. which is a no-no according to the head of the King Center:

“Some of this is probably putting food on people’s plates. We’re not trying to stop anybody from legitimately supporting themselves,” he said, “but we cannot allow our brand to be abused.”

Actually it is more like putting plates under people’s food. That’s merchandising for you.

Chris Cameron writes this political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his own brand of original funniness at his humor blog Angry Seafood.

Uncle Barack Wants You

With the myriad problems that face our nation today, problems like people getting rich, businesses making profits, workers not belonging to unions, and poverty in Africa, we need every American to work towards bettering America. Uncle Barack feels there is a great, untapped resource of citizens with the proper mindset to help this country make great strides towards economic and social justice. Uncle Barack is going to tap middle-school students, and retirees to shape this country in His image.

It’s clear that these two groups of Americans have way too much free time on their hands. We should stop our middle school students playing soccer, playing video games, and trolling blogs. We should stop our retirees playing golf, R.V.ing, and running for president. We need these groups to channel their energies in a much more productive direction. We need them to man the soup kitchens, to speak to underserved groups in the ghetto about how whitey is keeping them down, and to fly to Darfur to hold signs protesting the genocide. What better way for a ten year old to learn geography than by flying them to Somalia to learn about how benevolent warlords care for the people of that country.

We all know that rich white executives from the suburbs do not want their tax dollars to go to inner-city children. Instead we’re going to send their children, and their elderly parents to the inner-city to collect recyclables.

Of course all this service will be completely voluntary. Uncle Barack and his team would oppose any efforts to embarass children who do not agree with with this policy. Nor would he try to silence any critics of these programs in the media. Uncle Barack feels that there is room for all view points in the new, post-racial, post-political, America, and he would never try to force anyone into service, or to punish those who choose not to be a part of providing the American Dream to every American.

So parents, what you need to do is teach your kid ebonics and Spanish. We need to ensure that our children can communicate with the under served communities that we are going to serve. Retirees, sell your R.V.s and golf clubs so you can do your part to make the world a better place for our children to serve.

Read more of JumpOut at his own Law Enforcement Humor and Political Satire Blog, You Should Be Tasered