wolfp212

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081008/...9Wz6jYLtiB IF

Authorities say man skipped jury duty to drink

JACKSON, Mo. - Curtis Lemons was supposed to report for jury duty in a drunk driving case. Instead, according to authorities, the 50-year-old Cape Girardeau man skipped the jury duty so he could drink himself.

Lemons received a summons to appear as a prospective juror in the case. When he didn't show up on Monday, a bailiff called his house. Lemons told the bailiff he was too busy to come to court.

Associate Circuit Judge Scott Thomsen instructed officers to bring Lemons to the courthouse. Deputies say they detected a strong odor of alcohol on him. Lemons was held in custody while the DWI trial went on.

Authorities say Lemons told the judge he had been drinking rum in the morning. Thomsen found Lemons in contempt of court and fined him $250.

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2 people watch 123 hours of movies in NYC

NEW YORK - You may want to try this at home. Suresh Joachim (YOH'-kum), of Toronto, and Claudia Wavra (wahv-RA'), of Germany, claim to have broken the world record for continuous movie watching, after seeing 57 films in 123 hours in a plexi-glass house in Times Square.

A Guinness World Records spokesman says it appears the non-dynamic duo have broken the movie-watching record but says it will take two weeks to officially verify.

The attempt began Oct. 2 when eight challengers started watching "Iron Man." After 72 hours, only two remained. They watched "Thelma and Louise" until the end on 3:10 p.m. Tuesday.

Susan Sarandon, a star of that film, dropped off the final film.

The rules: Each movie had to be viewed until the last credit rolled, and competitors could not divert their eyes from the screen. They were allowed 10-minute breaks between movies.

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(I remember hearing about this guy, he's the one who's girlfriend was stuck to his toilet because she wouldn't leave)
------------------------------------------

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081008/... yOsxjUHjtiBIF

Second lottery win makes Kansas man flush

GREAT BEND, Kan. - A Kansas man whose girlfriend was physically stuck to the toilet in their home wins $20,000 in the state Lottery, for the second time this year. Kory McFarren cashed in his winning $2 Bonus Crossword ticket in Great Bend Monday.

On July 29, the 37-year-old received six months of probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor mistreatment of a dependent adult.

McFarren called deputies in February to report that his girlfriend, Pam Babcock, had refused to come out of the bathroom for two years. Authorities found her stuck to the toilet.

Medical personnel estimated Babcock had been on the toilet for at least a month and said the seat had adhered to sores on her body. She was released from a Wichita hospital after several months of treatment.


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Skinny-dipping tailgater accused of kneeing cop

AMHERST, Mass. - A tailgater skinny dipping inside a truck bed at a University of Massachusetts football game has been charged with assault for allegedly kneeing a campus police officer in the groin.

Deputy Chief Patrick Archbald said a 21-year-old man was among several fans splashing around in the back of a pickup truck before Saturday's game against the University of Delaware.

When police told them to stop, the man refused to get out. He then approached an officer and kneed him twice in the groin, Archbald said.

The officer, whom Archbald did not name, was given morphine at a hospital. He could miss up to two weeks of work.

The man was charged with assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

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Man's 'Viva Viagra' missile misfires in NYC court

NEW YORK - A court says a man's escapade in New York with a decommissioned missile emblazoned with "Viva Viagra" is a dud.

A federal judge ruled Wednesday that Arye Sachs' antics infringe on a trademark held by Pfizer Inc.

Sachs was ordered to stop displaying anything with Viagra logos.

He towed the 25-foot rocket last month to various spots in Manhattan, including Pfizer's headquarters.

His plan was to invoke Viagra while distributing politically themed condoms. The judge worried people would mistake the missile for a Pfizer-approved ad.

Sachs' phone rang unanswered Wednesday, and lawyers for Pfizer didn't return phone calls.

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Drunken man finds his way home — just not his home

GAITHERSBURG, Md. - Unlike Goldilocks, a man who stumbled into the wrong suburban Washington, D.C., home after drinking too much found the bed there just right.

Bob and Joanne Breiner returned home from a night out to find a man with a white beard nestled in their bed, sound asleep. Once police showed up and the drunken stranger realized what had happened, he apologized profusely and complimented the couple on their comfortable bed.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," Joanne Breiner recalled him saying.

The man accidentally went to the Breiners' house after apparently getting off at a bus stop eight miles from his own home, police said. He entered through the unlocked front door.

Joanne Breiner said she first realized something was amiss the night of Sept. 27 after noticing crumpled aluminum foil and crumbs on the kitchen counter, along with a missing crab cake.

Minutes later, she recalled Thursday, her husband walked upstairs to the master bedroom, flipped on the light and noticed the intruder.

The man didn't stir, and Joanne Breiner says her husband wasn't even sure whether he was alive.

Quickly — and quietly — Bob alerted Joanne and the couple's 16-year-old son. They fled into the rainy darkness, not pausing to grab their car keys or other belongings.

Besides being scared out of her wits, Joanne Breiner said, she found the incident bizarre. "At first we thought, 'That's so strange, so weird, we couldn't even imagine,'" she said.

Police quickly arrived, made their way to the master bedroom and woke the man by shaking him. Breiner said he asked the officers what they were doing in his house.

The family decided not to press charges after learning the man had lost his job three weeks earlier, and police declined to identify him. Joanne Breiner even packed up some ribs and leftover soup for officers to give him.

"We are so grateful and lucky that nothing happened," she said. "It could've been a horrible incident."

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Burned! Washington state woman shot by stove

SEKIU, Wash. - A woman in Washington state says her cast-iron stove shot her in the leg.

Cory Davis tells the Peninsula Daily News that she had just stoked the heating stove in her home Sunday when she heard a loud bang and was struck in her left calf.

She says she initially thought "that was one fast hot coal flying at me."

In fact, she was hit by part of a 22-gauge shotgun shell that she had accidentally put into the stove with newspapers she used to light it. A box of shells had spilled nearby a few weeks before.

Davis says she removed the metal fragment herself Sunday and sought treatment for the shallow wound the next day.

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Serves em right for leaving the door unlocked.

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wolfp212

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081007/...eunH81ntiB IF

Brits value sex and in-laws, Web dating company finds

LONDON (Reuters) - Being too tired for sex is less of a problem for married Britons than for U.S. or Australian couples, and Brits place more importance on agreeing on how to handle their in-laws, online dating company eHarmony has found.

U.S.-based eHarmony, which boasts 118 marriages every day in the United States and launches in Britain this week, says married people in Britain are also more satisfied with how they share household chores and how much time they spend together.

"Brits tend to be more consensual," eHarmony Chief Executive Gregory Waldorf told Reuters in an interview.

He said the company's researchers had found that stereotypes of uptight Britons sleeping in separate beds were outdated. "Research indicates that British people have moved beyond that."

Happy U.S. couples tend to laugh together, exchange ideas and confide in each other more and kiss more frequently. They also have more arguments, get on each others' nerves more and talk about divorce more frequently, eHarmony found.

Australians report most overall happiness with their marriages and tend to work on projects together more frequently than their British or U.S. counterparts. They also report the least concern that their spouse does not show them love often enough.

EHarmony specializes in matching heterosexual singles for long-term relationships and marriage, based on answers members give to more than 200 questions about their personality it asks them to answer when they register.

Unlike other online dating sites, users are not able to browse photos and profiles of other members and contact them at will, but are matched by eHarmony using algorithms the company has developed and refined over years.

Members can specify a few parameters, such as their views on the drinking and smoking habits and the religion and ethnicity of potential matches. They can also elect not to be matched with people who already have children.

"Religion as a self-select is much less important in the UK than the U.S.," said Sean Cornwell, head of the company's international business.

NO MARRIEDS

EHarmony does not accept members who are already married, have been married more than three times, or those it judges to be emotionally unfit to enter a relationship, such as the severely clinically depressed.

Waldorf said the company would consider starting a service for homosexuals looking for long-term relationships -- "We are always looking for new market opportunities" -- but had no current plans to do so.

Users must become paying members before they can see photos or communicate with their matches. In Britain, the service will cost 34.95 pounds ($61.78) for a month, or 14.95 pounds per month for a six-month period after a seven-day free trial.

"EHarmony tends to attract people who stay longer," Waldorf said. He declined to say how long, on average, it took until members found a long-term partner.

Privately held eHarmony was launched in the United States in 2000 by Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist with more than 35 years of experience in marriage counseling.

With a team of researchers, he spent three years finding out which personal characteristics make for compatibility between couples before the launch.

Before going live in Britain, eHarmony spent about a year working with researchers at England's Oxford Internet Institute to gather compatibility characteristics unique to Britain by interviewing married couples.

The company also offers online dating services in Canada, and said it would likely start in other European countries outside Britain next year.

But finding the right research partner is as essential for eHarmony as it enters new markets as it is for singles seeking love, said Waldorf, who is still married to his first wife -- a friend of a cousin whom he met on a blind date.

"We can't move forward until we've found the right partner."

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Cambodian couple saws house in divorce settlement

PHNOM PENH, Cambodia - A couple in rural Cambodia has terminated their 18-year marriage with a divorce settlement that entailed sawing in two the wooden house they once shared, villagers said Friday.

The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.

"Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted," she said by phone from a village about 62 miles east of Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh. She said they ended their marriage last month.

"He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half," she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. The house is made from wood with a tile roof and propped up on wooden pillars, a typical style for a Cambodian country home.

She said her estranged husband and his relatives, after ripping apart half of the house, carried all the debris to his parents' house nearby.

She said the divorce was prompted by her husband's jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair.

"He wanted a divorce, and I said, `Let's divorce,'" she said.

The husband could not be reached for comment.

Bou Bout, a village chief, said local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half.

"Local officials tried three times to get them to mend their differences, but the husband would not budge," Bou Bout said by phone.

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Cops nab pair in same vehicle for drunken driving

FARGO, N.D. - Fargo police said two men were arrested for drunken driving in the same vehicle. Police Lt. Pat Claus said an officer pulled over a 23-year-old man early Thursday morning. Claus said while that man was taking a sobriety test, a 24-year-old passenger got behind the wheel and tried to drive off.

Claus said the passenger was also arrested for drunken driving. Both men were taken to the Cass County jail.

Claus called the case "unique."

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OUCH!!!
--------------

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081010/...eOKwTh_tiB IF

Woman allegedly pours hot water on husband's groin

BRADENTON, Fla. - Authorities say a woman has been arrested in west Florida after pouring scalding hot water on her husband's groin. Manatee County Sheriff's Office deputies arrested a 52-year-old woman on Wednesday on a charge of aggravated battery with great bodily harm.

The woman was being held at the Manatee County jail on $7,500 bond.

Authorities say the woman boiled the water and threw it on her husband's groin while he slept. He sustained second degree burns and ran out of the house screaming while a relative called 911, according to a sheriff's report.

The man was flown to a Tampa hospital for treatment. The report said the woman did not give a reason for pouring the water on her husband, but said she had been drinking alcohol.

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wolfp212

I know.

I always lock my door, and I live out in the middle of nowhere, there's more likelyhood of a moose comming in my house than a burgler (or drunk guy), yet I still lock the door to protect the wife and kids. You never know. Better safe than sorry.

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NY election mix-up: 'Osama' on the ballot

TROY, N.Y. - Who is running for president? In an upstate New York county, hundreds of voters have been sent absentee ballots in which they could vote for "Barack Osama."

The absentee ballots sent to voters in Rensselaer County identified the two presidential candidates as "Barack Osama" and "John McCain." In the United States, the best-known individual named Osama is Osama bin Laden, leader of the al Qaida terrorist group behind the 2001 attacks that destroyed the World Trade Center in New York City.

The typographical terror error was first reported by the Times Union of Albany.

The elections office faxed a statement in which the two commissioners, Democrat Edward McDonough and Republican Larry Bugbee, said they regret the error but never acknowledge what the error was.

"It's human error, it's very unfortunate, it's an embarrassment to our office, obviously," McDonough said in a later phone interview. "We wish we could turn back the clock, but we can't."

When they discovered the mistake, officials shredded the remaining "Osama" ballots and mailed correct versions to the roughly 300 people who had already received them. McDonough said the "Osama" mistake was made in only one of the 13 ballot versions mailed throughout the county, located east of the state capital of Albany.

Voters who received both versions will be allowed to send in either one and have it counted, McDonough said.

Obama spokesman Blake Zeff said the campaign is "glad officials are working to correct this error and we assume it won't happen again."

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Woman accused of serving pot-laced cake to guest

WEST HARTFORD, Conn. - West Hartford police said they charged a 51-year-old woman with assault, reckless endangerment and tampering with evidence after she allegedly served a marijuana-tainted ginger cake to her real estate agent.

Authorities said the 28-year-old man called 911 shortly after leaving her home Thursday, saying he felt sick. He was treated at a local hospital and released.

Medics initially thought he was allergic to the ginger cake. But police said they later determined the woman told someone else she had laced it with marijuana.

Police have ordered tests on the dessert.

The woman scheduled to be arraigned Friday in Hartford Superior Court. Information was not immediately available on whether she had an attorney.

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Crackdown on tight trousers cancelled

JUBA, Sudan (Reuters) - South Sudan's president shut down a police investigation Wednesday that saw scores of young women arrested for "disturbing the peace" by wearing tight trousers.

The women were arrested over the past week by police who said they suspected them of belonging to youth gangs known for drinking, fighting and public nudity.

But government officials, including the south's gender minister, said they were angry at the way the women had been targeted and treated after arrest.

President Salva Kiir had ordered a "serious investigation" into the police crackdown, said a government minister.

Kiir also ordered the immediate release of any woman arrested under the operation in the south's capital Juba, and said there were questions over its legality, Southern Minister for Presidential Affairs Luka Biong added in a statement.

Police arrested more than 35 women Sunday night alone, angering bystanders by the way they pushed them into two trucks.

The deputy police commissioner of Juba County, Raiman Lege, said they were disturbing the peace by wearing trousers that were too tight. The group was freed Monday without charge after appearing in court.

Sudan's semi-autonomous south generally has a much more relaxed approach to women's dress than the country's Muslim north, with which it fought a two-decade war that was ended by a 2005 peace deal.

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How safe is your city? Put it to the bicycle test

BUENOS AIRES (Reuters) - How long will an unchained bicycle last on a city street before someone steals it?

Using hidden cameras and cheap bicycles as bait, an Argentine publicist set out to gauge crime in different neighborhoods of Buenos Aires. The longer it takes for the bike to be stolen the safer the area, is his hypothesis.

"It's not a statistic but in a way it shows that the places where the bicycle gets robbed really quickly perhaps the quality of life is poorer," said Mariano Pasik, 37.

Pasik speeds up the videos, sets them to music and puts them on a website (http://www.lapruebadelabicleta.com). He hopes other videographers will join his nonprofit "Bicycle Test" project and create a worldwide insecurity index.

It could become an informal crime gauge akin to the "Big Mac Index," which compares the cost of the same McDonald's sandwich in different countries to give an idea of buying power of people in different places, Pasik said.

Pasik, who runs his own publicity firm Liebre Amotinada Ideas (Mutinous Hare Ideas), said the project is part art, part reality show, part journalism and part fun.

But it is definitely not vigilantism. Pasik blurs the thieves' faces and was shocked at comments on his website where people have called for the death penalty for thieves.

"What you see on the videos is that they aren't professional thieves, they aren't people who went out to rob. They are people who ran into temptation and decided to commit a crime, they become thieves at the moment they take the bike," he said.

He said he is also trying to show that the media fascination with crime, in places like Buenos Aires where armed robberies are rampant, is part of the problem.

"The popular fantasy is that the bike will be stolen in seconds, and it isn't quite like that," Pasik said.

In the latest video posted, a bike lasted an hour without being stolen in the unsavory Constitucion neighborhood. But on the upscale shopping street of Santa Fe, a bike lasted a few short minutes before it was stolen.

A neighborhood "passes" the bicycle test when an hour passes or when the filmer gets tired or runs out of batteries.

Fans of the site have offered Pasik free bicycles and sent in their own tests from Uruguay and Spain.

On the videos, the thieves often seem more like opportunists than hardened criminals.

"You see the person thinking and thinking and thinking, coming and going. Sometimes they talk by phone. They go away. They come back. It's more about an internal dilemma between good and bad, than about the bicycle itself," Pasik said.

Or maybe they are just in shock to see a bicycle alone without a heavy lock, an unusual sight in Buenos Aires, a dense metropolis of more than 13 million people.

So far in the Bicycle Test, no woman has stolen a bike.

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Kenya's elephants send text messages to rangers

OL PEJETA, Kenya - The text message from the elephant flashed across Richard Lesowapir's screen: Kimani was heading for neighboring farms.

The huge bull elephant had a long history of raiding villagers' crops during the harvest, sometimes wiping out six months of income at a time. But this time a mobile phone card inserted in his collar sent rangers a text message. Lesowapir, an armed guard and a driver arrived in a jeep bristling with spotlights to frighten Kimani back into the Ol Pejeta conservancy.

Kenya is the first country to try elephant texting as a way to protect both a growing human population and the wild animals that now have less room to roam. Elephants are ranked as "near threatened" in the Red List, an index of vulnerable species published by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.

The race to save Kimani began two years ago. The Kenya Wildlife Service had already reluctantly shot five elephants from the conservancy who refused to stop crop-raiding, and Kimani was the last of the regular raiders. The Save the Elephants group wanted to see if he could break the habit.

So they placed a mobile phone SIM card in Kimani's collar, then set up a virtual "geofence" using a global positioning system that mirrored the conservatory's boundaries. Whenever Kimani approaches the virtual fence, his collar texts rangers.

They have intercepted Kimani 15 times since the project began. Once almost a nightly raider, he last went near a farmer's field four months ago.

It's a huge relief to the small farmers who rely on their crops for food and cash for school fees. Basila Mwasu, a 31-year-old mother of two, lives a stone's throw from the conservancy fence. She and her neighbors used to drum through the night on pots and pans in front of flaming bonfires to try to frighten the elephants away.

Once an elephant stuck its trunk through a window into a room where her baby daughter was sleeping and the family had stored some corn. She beat it back with a burning stick. Another time, an elephant killed a neighbor who was defending his crop.

"We had to go into town to tell the game (wardens) to chase the elephants away or we're going to kill them all," Mwasu remembered.

But the elephants kept coming back.

Batian Craig, the conservation and security manager at the 90,000 acre Ol Pejeta conservancy, says community development programs are of little use if farmers don't have crops. He recalled the time when 15 families had their harvests wiped out.

"As soon as a farmer has lost his livelihood for six months, he doesn't give a damn whether he has a school or a road or water or whatever," he said.

Iain Douglas-Hamilton, founder of Save the Elephants, said the project is still in its infancy — so far only two geofences have been set up in Kenya — and it has its problems.

Collar batteries wear out every few years. Sometimes communities think placing a collar on an elephant implies ownership and responsibility for the havoc it causes. And it's expensive work — Ol Pejeta has five full-time staff and a standby vehicle to respond when a message flashes across a ranger's screen.

But the experiment with Kimani has been a success, and last month another geofence was set up in another part of the country for an elephant known as Mountain Bull. Moses Litoroh, the coordinator of Kenya Wildlife Service's elephant program, hopes the project might help resolve some of the 1,300 complaints the Service receives every year over crop raiding.

The elephants can be tracked through Google Earth software, helping to map and conserve the corridors they use to move from one protected area to another. The tracking also helps prevent poaching, as rangers know where to deploy resources to guard valuable animals.

But the biggest bonus so far has been the drop in crop raiding. Douglas-Hamilton says elephants, like teenagers, learn from each other, so tracking and controlling one habitual crop raider can make a whole group change its habits.

Mwasu's two young daughters play under the banana trees these sultry evenings without their mother worrying about elephants.

"We can live together," she said. "Elephants have the right to live, and we have the right to live too."

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Santas coming early to Indiana town to sign oath

SANTA CLAUS, Ind. - The grandsons of Santa Claus are coming to town.

The descendants of two of the more famous men to don Santa Claus suits plan to meet Sunday in Santa Claus, Ind., to sign a new oath for other jolly gift-givers.

Charles Bergeman is the grandson of Charles Howard, a famous Santa from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York. Will Koch is the grandson of Jim Yellig, who is considered the "Santa Claus" of the Indiana town bearing the same name.

The Evansville Courier & Press says the oath includes a promise to create happiness, spread love and make dreams come to life in the tradition of St. Nick.

It will be administered to every Kris Kringle attending the Celebrate Santa Convention in Gatlinburg, Tenn., in March.

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http://www.funtechtalk.com/vibrator-...nd-run-victim/

Vibrator Found In Unconscious Hit And Run Victim

After being hit from behind by a motorcycle Sunday evening, a 32-year-old woman was left lying near a crosswalk in Fort Collins, Colorado. Two women witnessed the accident and called police. She had been knocked out from the hit and had a broken and bleeding left arm ,said one of the women on the seen.

A small crowd around the lady had formed quickly in the busy neighborhood off of Boardwalk Ave. When paramedics arrived she was still unconscious. The paramedics were stretching the victim out to examine her injuries ,said one witness. They took her fanny pack off and pulled it up with an iPod attached. The iPod had wires to her ears but also wires running into her shorts.

“This was a serious accident”, said one witnesses, “but when they pulled that vibrator hooked to her iPod out of her shorts you could see everyone’s faces turn red. She was lucky she was still knocked out for the ride to the hospital. I don’t think I could have survived the embarrassment”.

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